Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He kissed a someone with a penis
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
