Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
