This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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