We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize