im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
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In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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