If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
