Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
