Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize