..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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