i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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