I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
