So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
