They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
