Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
where are my eyebrows?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
