Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
