I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
