I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
So. Much. Porn.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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