i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize