I can tuck mytits in my pants
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
