It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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