It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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