and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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