where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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