So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I AM VODKA MAN
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just forgot I was standing up.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
