I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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