didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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