His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize