there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
