did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
