You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I understand Curling. That high.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
