he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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