I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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