if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
