i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
my poor anus
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
