Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
