yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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