problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
