Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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