well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
