What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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