you would pick up someone in the library
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
