What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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