Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize