Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
