bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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