i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
