Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
