At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
