I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
