hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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