Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
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Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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