you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
