Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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