He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
