dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize